hello!
as tradition, it has been a while since my last post. things have been kind of a roller coaster for me, only taking a better turn recently. so, taking advantage of this momentum i thought it was convenient to write a new post here
hope is a very powerful fuel. a very versatile one, too. it moves your mind and your body. it powered societies for centuries. in a certain way, hope is the opposite of death
lets say, if you died tomorrow, and knew you are going to die tomorrow, what would you do differently than you normally do? now compare that to if you were to die tomorrow, but without knowing it. how different is it? this same concept can be applied to a lot of things
some countries give easier access to abortions in the case the baby is discovered to have some sort of deficiency. others have something like canada's maid program not the nice kind of maid. there is also death penalty in some countries. these are ways of legislators to admit they have no hope in making these lives worth living. although some of them are optional or have alternatives, they are the infallible way of "fixing" the issue
i don't want to get too personal but i lost some hope about my own creations. this affected drastically how i make... anything really. i'm not too happy about it. but i'm not too sad about it either. the thing is that it is really difficult to focus on something if you don't believe your efforts are being well spent. this part annoys me the most since i put a lot of time and effort into my creations only for me to be indifferent about them. meh
i haven't learned how to control hope. i don't know how to go back to a state of caring about other stuff or people. i don't enjoy this apathy but it is hard to find a light at the end of the tunnel